Take on B school!

The other day some relative of mine wanted some tips on how to crack CAT and how life has changed in a B school. I told her , honestly even I don’t know what brought me here and what is keeping me here , so ended up giving her some advice which I myself was not sure of still pretended as if that was the best for her to do. A typical consulting scenario. That’s what this place has made me. We have learnt to compromise in some way with the way things turn up for us.

Personally I feel as confused as I was when I came here even today on what to do. There’s something about the place may be, it just forces us all to be what we are not! I realized it in one week, tried to keep myself away from the bug, but for how long is what worries me! When I saw people changing in split seconds, focus and loyalties changing, as if a complete restructure had occurred. Strange it has been!

They say B school is all about the knowledge you gain, not just inside the classroom but more on the outside! I completely agree with it! Think this is one belief that has not been broken yet. Apart from that, the hype, the hollowness of this sphere and the reality inside is little worrying! Do they make good managers?

When people get evaluated on their skills to retain the X line written in the Y course packet of the Z subject,
When choices of subjects is governed by the amount of grade point they can make,
When behaviors change around us at the rate of thousands of emotions per second and you don’t know who to trust,
When you receive the biggest blow on your confidence and still are ready to fight it out,
When sleep stops coming to you and you can’t sleep even though you want to,
When the conflict between your hopes and achievements becomes stronger,
When you compromise your own self to live up to a set of expectations and end up doing something you never thought you could ever do,
That’s when you realize, you are in a B – school…
Don’t know how much of it has occurred to me though! And don’t know the extent to which it will go!
The fight as I said!! Is ON

Just Like That!!

So finally it has sunk in! I have nothing more to loose now. Anyway I go from here on has to be upwards. But to think of it , why did I enter the B school in the first place? Just like that , comes the reply if I put this question to myself. Was I even prepared for it? Was the timing right? Still many more questions need to be answered and I’m trying to figure that out.
The base is not right may be. Why Engineering first? I asked again , Just like that comes the reply. Not that I was some harbinger of a technological breakthrough. So then why? And after 4 years of reassurance that it was not my calling , why the core technical job? Just like that again!!
Strange are the ways of life. I don’t know how choices are made. Marketing tells me , it is based on some marginal valuation of utility. But how to decide the reference point? Economics makes more sense may be especially the law of diminishing returns. After we achieve a target , it looses its value. How much effort I may have put to reach my goal, it looses importance once I get there. Why then do I play this dangerous game again. I keep running after something , knowing it will loose its charm in the end. Still we are all running!

Time and again , which way will I go now? What lies ahead! What am I striving for?
I am running again…

But why?
Just like that ! Comes the reply!!

Circle of Life!

As I stand at this crossroad,
Waiting to choose my direction
I recall I was here, not very long ago,
As if it were some reflection

It’s like the chorus of a song,
The sound of the chime
Life is one full circle
Comes back with time

I chose the path most trodden
Not knowing where it would lead
Nurture hopes of the world around me
Apprehensive whether I would succeed

But didn’t take much time to realize
That it was a misfit
And trust & honesty were,
But meaningless words
I moved on with my set of wounds
Longing for a pair of wings
Jealous of birds

To fly away in the vastness
To go to the land I want
Where nobody questions me
Sans past memories to haunt

But such is the irony of fate
I am brought back to the same gate
The time and context has changed
And so has the emotional state
It all seems same on the outside
“Which way to go now”, echoing inside

Like the chorus of a song, like the sound of the chime
Life is a circle, comes back with time!
Hoping this time I won’t make a mistake
I’ll choose a new path, and call it mine