The next one month involved a lot of thinking.About myself , about my goals.I had to write the essay questions that came in the form.Somewhere in the back of my mind , the thought of a single call was also nerving, coz I thought I had very little chance of making it.But as I said , I had a very strong support system , and then I had nothing to lose after all.So I gave it a go.Didn't attend any coaching classes to save myself from the inferiority complex of practicing GD with 5-6 call getters. And the thought of learning how to be natural in an interview was in itself conflicting!!So just decided to do it on my own.
My manager was so helpful and his guidance and encouragement made me more confident.i do owe a major part of this accomplishment to him!As a manager he wanted me to work in the company with all dedication and on a personal note he supported me and provided all the help needed for preparing the letter of recommendation!!
This journey was a completely wonderful experience in itself..
And finally the D day arrived.I was on pills to control my upset stomach ,a disorder which I suffer from during stressful times. It then becomes a fight between the organs to perform the best , and the stomach bears the brunt of it all. Can’t handle the tension!So me was all set to face the first interview of my life!!
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Part 3-
So December went as disastrously as it could.N then it was result time.Honestly I was not even interested in checking the results but since I had no other option but to hope against hope.Came January and the IIM websites flagged the result.I started with I & K first thinkig that was the only thing I could have got.Didnt deserve to get anything better.negative.Heart sinking.But then I was prepared for this.Went back home and mom asked me to tell her the result.i told her I hadn’t made it to K & I.What about the others?
I said there wasn’t any chance of making it to others eitherBut then we did check,No l , no C and ofcourse no A either.Bangalore site didn’t open and so I didn’t check.
Once again trying to find some way out of the monotony of designing chips from 9-5 and then coming home and sleeping!!9th January was Dad’s birthday,and just about after lunch time , Mum called up and told me that a packet had arrived from IIMB.And my sis was reading it(I consider her my lucky charm).Oh it was my call letter.
It was completely unbelievable.i was actually numb.Didnt know what to do!Arjun was observing and so I told him the news.He couldn’t help but just smile and laugh and feel so happy.Oh he actually shook me!It was unbelievable..And I couldn’t stop smiling the rest of the day!!
I said there wasn’t any chance of making it to others eitherBut then we did check,No l , no C and ofcourse no A either.Bangalore site didn’t open and so I didn’t check.
Once again trying to find some way out of the monotony of designing chips from 9-5 and then coming home and sleeping!!9th January was Dad’s birthday,and just about after lunch time , Mum called up and told me that a packet had arrived from IIMB.And my sis was reading it(I consider her my lucky charm).Oh it was my call letter.
It was completely unbelievable.i was actually numb.Didnt know what to do!Arjun was observing and so I told him the news.He couldn’t help but just smile and laugh and feel so happy.Oh he actually shook me!It was unbelievable..And I couldn’t stop smiling the rest of the day!!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
The IIM Journey ..contd..
Part 2-The saga of Israel…
So once the paper got over I went back to my thinking mode of now what.Had some marriages in the family so got busy.In fact that intrigued it all.Because relatives are somehow more interested on when are u getting married rather that my own parents..Irritating it was..they all make me think that I was the only left one now.with all the badi sisters getting married I was the only one left out as if…
Never mind, my manager come to my rescue.He was nominating my name for a trip to Israel.Some project had to be done there.The first question he asked me was tricky .”Do you have a passport”..N I didn’t have one.i told him no but said I would manage to get it as soon as I can.I had 10 days of time before we would apply for the visa.
Then began the odyssey to get a passport out from the portals of the Indian Passport Office.
The dilapidated state of the building was a clear indication of what was in store for me.The passport officer who was supposed to come at 10:30 reaches at 11:30 and then the long queue..the unnecessary hassles that the people were creating there..the crowd, everything was a big learning experience..learning..next time I d rather contact an agent..!!But I have this habit of trying my hands at everything that comes my way..n so I end up suffering so many times…
Never the less. All said and done ..Then came the police verification.Two people from the inquiry department had come to visit us at my place.they had tean and snacks.We chatted ,I showed them my original documents and finally everybody went quiet. The lady asked “Pehli baar apply kar rahe ho” I said in my typical UP tone..”Haanji”
Lady- “ok, to phir 5-5 kardo”
I was shocked.I mean she was openly asking me to give her money!Felt like arguing. But dad said in sarkari matters that wouldn’t have worked. This even manifested my belief , that I want to bring about a positive change in the system.
High hopes.But I hope I’ll do something! Someday!
Finally my passport reached in time.And the next 2 weeks went in doing the research on Israel.Mom was anxious on sending me alone.First trip abroad and that too, to a country like Israel, which is so disturbed.Well I was pretty excited.searching n places to visit , eating joints there.Our branch office was in Herziliya and it is a coastal city.So I was really looking forward to the whole experience.Also to thank tarun n Prasad on doing so much added research for me.We took virtual tours of the places I was supposed to stay at.Suddenly life had taken a new turn.I was intended to fly sometime in December end.
But , life had something else in store for me.
The day I got my visa stamped,I went upto my manager to ask about the next set of formalities,and I got the news that the project I was supposed to work on had been cancelled by the vendor..
As shocked as I was to hear that, somewhere something was hitting hard as to what now?
So Israel never happened .All that I have left is the stamp on my passport..which according to some would never let me go to the UAE’s …
So once the paper got over I went back to my thinking mode of now what.Had some marriages in the family so got busy.In fact that intrigued it all.Because relatives are somehow more interested on when are u getting married rather that my own parents..Irritating it was..they all make me think that I was the only left one now.with all the badi sisters getting married I was the only one left out as if…
Never mind, my manager come to my rescue.He was nominating my name for a trip to Israel.Some project had to be done there.The first question he asked me was tricky .”Do you have a passport”..N I didn’t have one.i told him no but said I would manage to get it as soon as I can.I had 10 days of time before we would apply for the visa.
Then began the odyssey to get a passport out from the portals of the Indian Passport Office.
The dilapidated state of the building was a clear indication of what was in store for me.The passport officer who was supposed to come at 10:30 reaches at 11:30 and then the long queue..the unnecessary hassles that the people were creating there..the crowd, everything was a big learning experience..learning..next time I d rather contact an agent..!!But I have this habit of trying my hands at everything that comes my way..n so I end up suffering so many times…
Never the less. All said and done ..Then came the police verification.Two people from the inquiry department had come to visit us at my place.they had tean and snacks.We chatted ,I showed them my original documents and finally everybody went quiet. The lady asked “Pehli baar apply kar rahe ho” I said in my typical UP tone..”Haanji”
Lady- “ok, to phir 5-5 kardo”
I was shocked.I mean she was openly asking me to give her money!Felt like arguing. But dad said in sarkari matters that wouldn’t have worked. This even manifested my belief , that I want to bring about a positive change in the system.
High hopes.But I hope I’ll do something! Someday!
Finally my passport reached in time.And the next 2 weeks went in doing the research on Israel.Mom was anxious on sending me alone.First trip abroad and that too, to a country like Israel, which is so disturbed.Well I was pretty excited.searching n places to visit , eating joints there.Our branch office was in Herziliya and it is a coastal city.So I was really looking forward to the whole experience.Also to thank tarun n Prasad on doing so much added research for me.We took virtual tours of the places I was supposed to stay at.Suddenly life had taken a new turn.I was intended to fly sometime in December end.
But , life had something else in store for me.
The day I got my visa stamped,I went upto my manager to ask about the next set of formalities,and I got the news that the project I was supposed to work on had been cancelled by the vendor..
As shocked as I was to hear that, somewhere something was hitting hard as to what now?
So Israel never happened .All that I have left is the stamp on my passport..which according to some would never let me go to the UAE’s …
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
The IIM Journey..
Part 1- The exam
My last year has been full of strange experiences..
I couldn’t really understand what I wanted from life somehow..Had just got a project to work on so got so engrossed in that I thot designing chips was the best thing I could have done.The enthu I had when it started was splendid..me trying to beat all the deadlines..trying hard to excel in whatever way I can..do it differently n innovate…
How hard I stressed myself for that..And then when it got over I had news that there was another project waiting for me! N Priyanka was so sweet n encouraging to tell me that I go for a bigger block..Even I dint have that much of faith in myself as she did!! Really thank her for makin my time fsl so nice…
And then by mid 2006 I was again suffering from the.. “What shud I do with life syndrome”.the second project had started but in the initial phase work was not that hectic..So my mind had all the liberty to run once again on the thinking sprees..that I go on..I call it “Thinking in Zero” or in hindi..”Shoonya mein dekhna” ..Mom gets really pissed off with me because of this..and esp with the questions that follow after that..
And then the CAT forms came out in the market..The last years dejection was playing on my mind.I had prepared , joined coaching classes ..still couldn’t make it..It had been humiliating with me thinking that I probably didn’t deserve it at all.sometimes we shud let go of things …So I filled the form again..just like that.Had no plans at all.But thought would give it a try again.N this time on my own.So started doing some preliminary work.Working on the quant problems and stuff..
But I guess, God had other plans for me! Work became hectic, n I took up other tasks in office.Came October and I hadn’t completed much of the syllabus.And October is a celebration month for me( for all those who don’t know ,my birthday is in October)..
There were people who were making plans for life..who were taking decisions , who were thinking about life ahead ..n there was me who was just going on with the flow..no control on life.As if I had accepted that I would be designing chips for the rest of my life..get married ..have kids n live happily ever after…
Came November ..and I was still not sure but I did honour the last week before the exam..but this time I had no fears..This time I had nothing to prove.No preparations to back up my failures.No regrets for not studying coz I was actually not bothered…
And on the D day I was not at all nervous..coz had nothing to lose.I was not prepared.I was just goin to solve some problems n come back.My mom dad had planned a movie for the evening.This string of aiming for life ahead was ready to be broken…I was goin to do that!!Thinking that probably if I end the other options I would still go in one direction!!
The exam centre was bustling with activity.The studs n bonds giving advice to the meek , the 99% percentiles in the mocks predicting the question paper , the distribution of marks, even the cut offs…
Man..I was enjoying the sight..the expressions were so varied to analyse that for some time I forgot that I was there to take n exam.the best part was spotting people from my office..And the reactions I got from them .Some of them failed to recognize me also!! N I felt bad.(I really don’t like when people ignore me..)
Anyways, my confidence n my smile was not leaving me that day at all.. Even I was surprised..When I saw the paper , I held it firmly..(unlike last year when I was trembling..).And set my agenda for the next 2.5hrs..that I will solve as much as I can..No panic this time.it went on smoothly..And I was happy when I came out of the exam hall that I had fared >= than last year!I thought so! And without the prep even gave me a sense of greater achievement. Had no hopes of making it this year as well.but was happy that I had cut the last chord that my mind used hold on to and wander around!!!
Yes I had reduced my options…
My last year has been full of strange experiences..
I couldn’t really understand what I wanted from life somehow..Had just got a project to work on so got so engrossed in that I thot designing chips was the best thing I could have done.The enthu I had when it started was splendid..me trying to beat all the deadlines..trying hard to excel in whatever way I can..do it differently n innovate…
How hard I stressed myself for that..And then when it got over I had news that there was another project waiting for me! N Priyanka was so sweet n encouraging to tell me that I go for a bigger block..Even I dint have that much of faith in myself as she did!! Really thank her for makin my time fsl so nice…
And then by mid 2006 I was again suffering from the.. “What shud I do with life syndrome”.the second project had started but in the initial phase work was not that hectic..So my mind had all the liberty to run once again on the thinking sprees..that I go on..I call it “Thinking in Zero” or in hindi..”Shoonya mein dekhna” ..Mom gets really pissed off with me because of this..and esp with the questions that follow after that..
And then the CAT forms came out in the market..The last years dejection was playing on my mind.I had prepared , joined coaching classes ..still couldn’t make it..It had been humiliating with me thinking that I probably didn’t deserve it at all.sometimes we shud let go of things …So I filled the form again..just like that.Had no plans at all.But thought would give it a try again.N this time on my own.So started doing some preliminary work.Working on the quant problems and stuff..
But I guess, God had other plans for me! Work became hectic, n I took up other tasks in office.Came October and I hadn’t completed much of the syllabus.And October is a celebration month for me( for all those who don’t know ,my birthday is in October)..
There were people who were making plans for life..who were taking decisions , who were thinking about life ahead ..n there was me who was just going on with the flow..no control on life.As if I had accepted that I would be designing chips for the rest of my life..get married ..have kids n live happily ever after…
Came November ..and I was still not sure but I did honour the last week before the exam..but this time I had no fears..This time I had nothing to prove.No preparations to back up my failures.No regrets for not studying coz I was actually not bothered…
And on the D day I was not at all nervous..coz had nothing to lose.I was not prepared.I was just goin to solve some problems n come back.My mom dad had planned a movie for the evening.This string of aiming for life ahead was ready to be broken…I was goin to do that!!Thinking that probably if I end the other options I would still go in one direction!!
The exam centre was bustling with activity.The studs n bonds giving advice to the meek , the 99% percentiles in the mocks predicting the question paper , the distribution of marks, even the cut offs…
Man..I was enjoying the sight..the expressions were so varied to analyse that for some time I forgot that I was there to take n exam.the best part was spotting people from my office..And the reactions I got from them .Some of them failed to recognize me also!! N I felt bad.(I really don’t like when people ignore me..)
Anyways, my confidence n my smile was not leaving me that day at all.. Even I was surprised..When I saw the paper , I held it firmly..(unlike last year when I was trembling..).And set my agenda for the next 2.5hrs..that I will solve as much as I can..No panic this time.it went on smoothly..And I was happy when I came out of the exam hall that I had fared >= than last year!I thought so! And without the prep even gave me a sense of greater achievement. Had no hopes of making it this year as well.but was happy that I had cut the last chord that my mind used hold on to and wander around!!!
Yes I had reduced my options…
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